Hit the Pause Button

Today marks only the second day of being home for five months due to the pandemic that's crippling the world right now and resulted in my college and colleges across the nation to shut down and move to online schooling. I'm not gonna lie, I've been struggling with this "new normal." I don't know if it's just not having enough time to process everything that has happened or if I really am starting to go crazy from being stuck inside my house. I don't really know what to think. Everything about my daily routine changed in a matter of just a few days. Softball was cancelled. I was forced to have to move back to my hometown 7 hours away from a school that had become my community and home. I was having to leave my friends, my social life, and everything I was used to on a daily basis. It was like my world just stopped. I'm an enneagram 7 and for you enneagram enthusiasts, y'all know 7s have to stay on the move and stay busy in order to feel like they're being productive even if they're actually doing the most unproductive things. 7s are also MAJOR extroverts. They thrive on interactions with people and are huge conversationalists which obviously puts me at a disadvantage when I have to practice social distancing. Being at home, I literally am forced to pay attention to what is going on out in the world because I have more free time (without softball, extracurriculars, and the million other activities I pour myself into) on my hands to actually think about everything that I don't normally give the time of day to. But tonight, I couldn't sleep. Something just wasn't sitting right with me, and I had all these thoughts racing through my head, particularly one that really stuck with me. I randomly started thinking about my Bible and how I hadn't really opened it in a while because I had been so busy and distracted with everything else on my schedule that I didn't think to include some Jesus time in it as well. And then, a past memory of a powerful sermon clicked in my head. During my senior year of high school, I heard this sermon about how God literally "pauses" your life with certain happenstances (normally rough or trying times) in order to get you back on the rightful path towards Him. When I heard this sermon, I had just broken off a relationship and I had a softball injury that resulted in me needing eye surgery. This injury also ended my senior season and even forced me into homeschooling for a period of time. During my homeschooling and because of school rules, I wasn't allowed to go support my softball team or participate in any school activities. My life was literally "on pause." With all of that happening, this sermon was God speaking to me, telling me that he was "pausing" me and the buzz of my daily routine so I can STOP, see what's ahead, and prepare myself for what He has in store for me. Obviously, the timing and context of this sermon could not have been more perfect. Not only was that message relevant to what was happening in my life at that time, but it is also relevant to what is happening out in the world today. People everywhere are literally being "paused" by this coronavirus. People are having to work from home, having classes at home, sports are cancelled, and numerous other things have been stopped because of this epidemic. I truly believe that this pandemic was created for a purpose. Maybe Jesus is coming. Maybe the world just needs this to come together and really make some changes in light of the violence and the social divides that are crippling society everywhere. Maybe it's not as deep as I'm making it out to be. But no matter what you think, there is some good to come out of this "pause" because the Bible says in 1 Samuel 12:16, "Stand still and see this great thing the Lord will do before your eyes." So take this time of stillness and prepare yourself for what God has in store for you because, trust me, He will give you something better than you could ever expect.